Jizz June | Gay Slang and Our Wildest Gay Hookup Stories

Welcome back Rat Pack, this week we're pulling  back the curtain on the wild, wired, and wonderfully chaotic world of sex, dating, and hookups in New York City's vibrant gay scene! If you're looking for polite pointers, you're in the wrong DM. But if you're ready for unhinged conversations, chaotic confessions, and the raunchiest, most unBElievable tales from the front lines of urban queer romance, you've found your new obsession. Get ready to laugh, gasp, and maybe even clutch your pearls.
In this episode, your favorite Rat Girls are holding nothing back. We're diving deep into:

• The treacherous terrain of gay dating apps: From Grindr and Scruff sagas to the elusive connections on Hinge and Tinder. 
• Decoding the dictionary of gay slang: Ever wondered what "DDF" really means? We're breaking down the lingo that makes the queer dating world go 'round, sharing our favorite (and least favorite) terms we've encountered.
• Our craziest gay hookup stories, uncensored! Brace yourselves for tales of unexpected encounters, "right now" rendezvous, and the sheer audacity of some NYC hookups. From the sublime to the utterly ridiculous, you'll hear it all.
• Why the NYC queer dating scene is a special kind of fabulous hell (and why we keep coming back for more drama and daddies!).

Whether you're single, coupled up, or just curious about the wild side of NYC queer dating, Nora, Tara, and Ali are here to make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even re-think your own love life.

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NYC dating, Queer dating, Gay hookups, LGBTQ+ podcast, Gay dating apps, Grindr stories, Queer sex, New York City, Gay slang, Dating in NYC, Unhinged stories, Raunchy podcast, Queer relationships, Sex positive, Gay culture, Dating advice (bad), LGBTQ stories, Queer life NYC, Gay humor, Adult podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

We threw out a lot of the toxic, you know, gender roles and now they're on ass shit. And now they're gay. We're your hosts, Tara, Nora, and Allie, and you're listening to Bad Advice Only. We're just three New York City rats talking about scurrying around the Big Apple. Here, we make the New York City mistakes so you don't have to. We're begging you. Leave us a review and follow us on Instagram and TikTok at BadAdviceOnlyNYC. We release new episodes every Monday, so stay tuned, rats. Welcome back, rats, to another episode of Bad Advice Only. During the month of June. I have to say, because I did the rat chatter. Too early, and I have to say, last week's episode, when we talked about your chompers, and you went... It was so clear. Could you hear it? I didn't notice, but that's funny. It was very funny. Well, today we are talking about gages. Our favorite gays. Happy Pride, y'all. Happy Pride. That's exactly what I was about to say. So it is Pride month, and how could we not do a Gages June? Well, we could not do it as we're all straight-ish. Well, Tara's kind of gay. Yeah, I did right in the outline that 2.5 straight women will be talking about. I think if you add it all up, we're two straight women. Like if you put all the parts together. Yeah, you're right. Between the three of us, there's at least one gay person. There's at least one gay. Because Tara's 50%. Oh, thank you. So you and I are both 25%. And I'm like 10%. So math wise. We're getting close. We're a little shy of one gay woman. I will say this as the listener who has the most queer, gay, bisexual, etc. friends in the community. She's always like comparing. No, I am blanket stating apologies for whatever comes out of my mouth during this episode. You're not a listener though. You're a host of this podcast. I meant to address that to our listeners. Sorry, guys. I sweat out all my coffee on my walk here this morning to the studio. It's 100 degrees outside. It's so fucking hot. I can't think straight. For our proud tourists that don't live in New York, it's going to be 101 degrees, which some people may not think it's that hot, but we don't have central air and we walk everywhere. And we live in a concrete frying pan with no access to water. That's 101 degrees Fahrenheit for all you bitches in Celsius. That's way hotter. Yeah, that's over like 35, I think, for our Euro listeners, which we have a lot of too. Okay, so let's dive in. Unless, Allie, did you have any updates for us? No. Then let's just dive in.

UNKNOWN: 2:58

Good. Good.

SPEAKER_00: 2:59

Great. Good. Have we been hanging out too much? We have no updates. Okay. Let's dive into Gay-Jizz June. So I wanted to talk about a few things, but primarily we're going to stick with just gay. The community at large, it's so big. You can't just get 30 minutes and explain the entire community. So we're going for gay men. So we're starting with gay men and if it's a hit we'll dive deeper into the other parts of the community I love gay men sometimes I think I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body you are kind of you are a gay man I got the bitchiness I got the style you're calling gay men bitchy already homophobic already yes my friends are bitchy and I tell them to their face she does attract the bitchy gays I think I attract the gays that pretend to be straight 100%. All Tara's gays are gay men who want to pass as straight men. Or turn them, and we'll talk about that later. Okay, so I feel like everyone knows only one gay dating app, say it. Grindr. Grindr. Yeah. Can y'all think of any others? Bumble, Hinge. You can set any of them to your preference. Okay, I love that Allie said that. But do they use them? They do. So what Allie just said is that the straight community primarily uses Bumble and Hinge. I would Like the vanilla people. But gays also use it. And like Allie said, you can switch. So if you're a curious listener, you can just go to your settings and switch it. Who hasn't switched it out of curiosity? Dude. You haven't, Allie? No. I do it all the time. Oh, I do it all the time. You guys yell at me. I have too many friends. Why would I go out with a girl? I'm not telling you to go out with them. I'm saying just take a peek. No. Or see who likes you. What kind of women you attract. See how hot you are. Yeah. I know it will be abysmal. All women are beautiful. Okay. So the other ones. And I knew this one. I knew three of the six. Grinder. Scruff. Jacked. Spelled J-A-C-K apostrophe D. That's an app I want to be on. Growler. Spelled like grinders without the E. Hornet.

UNKNOWN: 5:15

I giggle.

SPEAKER_00: 5:16

And sniffies. Ew. I don't like sniffies. I wonder how realistic these are. Did you ask any of your gay friends if they use these? Yeah. So they've used them all. Oh. Al, have you heard of any of these from your gay friends? I just go to the gym with my gays. That's the app. That's the live app. A lot of Allie's gay friends are married men, like married to each other. Yeah. A lot of yours are married and like kind of committed. Yeah. Or in throuples. I know two gay throuple couples. I love that. Can't wait. Can't wait to broke. It's not a throuple couple. It's just a throuple. Yeah. So they're all pretty much the same. They're apps for the queer community. Grindr and Scruff are probably the most popular, I would guess. Sniffies is kind of like. Stop saying it. You've got to stop saying it. It's so gross. I like it. Why would you? Are you sniffing panties? Yeah, what are you sniffing? What are they sniffing? Buttholes? Okay, so it's kind of like the old app Happn. Is that what it's called? Oh, yeah. Happn. I love Happn, guys. So similar to Grindr, it alerts you when you're like near dick. Oh, because you're sniffing for dick. Yeah, you're sniffing at that dick. They could have just rebranded Happn. Yeah, I love Happn. Happn is so funny. Or like Near. Okay. Nearby Dick. Nearby Dick NBD. So the other two things that I want to talk about, and I want to spend majority of the time on these two instead of just like the dating apps, but I did want to educate our... on a few other apps in case they're getting a little curious from this episode. They're getting a little gay. Getting a little gay. I hope that my goal at the end of this episode is everyone's just a little gay. When this airs on June 30th, by July 1st, we'll have 25% more gay listeners. I'd love that. Yes. So I want to talk a little bit about gay slang and then also share some of my favorite gay stories of like some of my gay friends who have, I'm just envious of how the gay man gets to sleep around. I'm so envious. They have a ball. Jealous. Literally. Literally. Because if there's no women involved, then they're not judging. Nobody's judging. No one's judging. No one's getting pregnant. It's easy. You're just having fun. You're just having a good fucking time. Okay. So let's go through some of the gay slang. I think most of, I think you'll know most of them, but we're going to quiz you. First one, baby gay. Oh, that's when someone has come out recently and they're like learning the ropes of being gay. Ding, ding, ding. And I would call it a gay bee. A gay bee is way better. A bear. Big, big boy. Big, burly. Big and burly. Hairy. Hairy big guy who's gay. Don't forget. Okay. Gold star. Oh, I know this one. Answer. A gold star has never slept with a woman. They are 100% gold star gay. What's the one that also doesn't come out of a vagina? Platinum star. Platinum star is really controversial. Is it? Why? I mean, it's very made up. It's all made up. But this one's like a stretch. A platinum star for the listener is? Someone who, a man who is gay, who never even, when they were delivered as a baby they were not delivered vaginally so they have physically never touched a vagina so they're c-section babies never touched a vagina platinum star here's my argument with that and come at me gays I it's not sexual to come out of a fucking vagina but they've never touched it they've never even touched it I guess I don't know I would brag about it I would brag I mean, yeah, I would too. I'm either a gold star straight or gay. Same. This one might be my absolute favorite. Father-son. Ew. A daddy, daddy, daddy-son moment. Sorry, I thought... I mean, you've role-played daddy-daughter. I know, but I thought too literally in the gay sense. You're also okay with father-son. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going into an incest thing, and I'm not okay with mothers. You love incest. Okay. Nor is Pearl that. Nor is Pearl incest and bestiality. For a different episode. This is a kink in which guys of dramatically different ages have sex while fantasizing that one is the son and the other is the father. To make this work, you'll have to say son or dad while you're doing it. Guys, I might have to explore my homophobia because I love daddy-daughter, but father-son fucks me up. What's the difference between daddy-daughter and father-son? I don't know. Like, I would argue daddy-daughter is much worse. It is. Like, much, much worse. I don't know. I don't know. I just hadn't thought of it. So, okay, it's two against one. Nora thinks father-son is worse. And Allie and I think father-daughter is worse. Is that what I'm hearing? Yes. They're all just fantasies, but I just hadn't thought of that one. She's now taking the homophobic, right? I knew you two would lose. So those are just a few of many, many. And they're not scared of dying. It's accessible. It's easy. It sounds so lovely. And Allie is the perfect example of the ease. I have so many examples. Like, they can just, and it depends on which group I'm with, right? Because there are some that have predetermined rules. And to your point earlier, like, I have a lot of friends who are married. I have fewer friends who are single, for sure. But, you know, some have, like, open discussions around who and when and how they can sleep with others. So they're in open marriages of some type. In a sense, yeah. But for the gay man, that's pretty monogamous. Right. And then for the others, they are not allowed to sleep with anybody else unless it's in the same room yeah it's my rule so I'm coming to you soon Nora daddy and son she is looking for two males guys two male female male I might have to give up on that search but I don't think you should give up female daddy son Maybe one of our listeners. I know a lot of podcasters that hook up with their listeners. So maybe I'll get two gentlemen to offer to Eiffel Tower you. So I think some of the craziest stories that come top of mind. Actually, one just happened yesterday. But, okay, I was hanging out with one of my gays. And they were like, hey, I'll be right there. I'll be right there. And I'm like, okay. And I'm like waiting for them outside their building. And then they come out and we're going for a walk. And... I'm like, hey, how's your day going? And he goes, good. And he's just, like, wiping his mouth a little bit. I'm like, are you okay? Like, are you drooling? Like, is my beauty, like, making you drool? Because, you know, I love to joke with my gays. And he was like, no, I actually just was on my way down, and there was a really hot delivery driver. And I took him in the stairwell, and I blew him. How? And I go, well, that was my question. I was like, literally, how? Also, the generosity. Did he receive anything? No, I don't think that is what he wanted. I think he just wanted to blow it to the pig. According to him, they made eye contact. No words were spoken. It reminds me, we'll talk about this another time, but how you made out with a stranger on a plane one time, Nora. No words spoken. You just have that energy. I do not exude that much sexual energy because this has never happened to me. It happened to me on a plane, listener. We'll tell it another day. I guess one thing led to another and he must have just pulled him in. I didn't even know there was a stairwell in this building. He's a delivery driver. They lock eyes and he just pulls him into a stairwell and blows him. Pulls his pants down. That's amazing. But then again, I had another gay who was at this spot where I have a crush. And we were all hanging out and the crush was there. He's like the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life. And I keep seeing him around and I never have the courage to go up and talk to this man because he's actually so hot. You've seen him before. The tatted guy. Oh, he's so hot. Damn. He lives in a building. We literally the hottest man I've ever seen in my life. We love a tatted man. He's so cute. And he's nice. If you're listening, tatted man. No, no, I know. His name's Jordan. I love him. Oh my God. How did I get his name? Because my gay, as soon as I left, literally, Literally within five minutes, I get a text message and it's just Jordan, tatted guy from pool, dog washer. Dog washer? And I was like, I thought he was a nurse. And he was like, no, we talked for like the whole time after you left. He thought his dog washing scrubs were nursing scrubs. No, no, no. It turns out he's not a doctor or a nurse. I don't know why he's been wearing scrubs because he's, I guess, in sales. What? Very weird. All right, we are losing this story. Is he a dog washer? He's not a dog, well, I kept asking. I was like, well, is he a dog washer? like because no judgment but like he might not be the one but I think he apparently he's starting his own dog washing business anyway just to prove a point that like they're very social yeah and and they get away with straight men and gay men oh I know did he hook up with it no he's fully straight but he was trying to talk me up he said but I'm worried he's trying to steal him for you no we I we agreed to it that like he's yours you called Dibs. If we do a house party and he's interested in both, we'll figure it out. Rock, paper, scissors? No. Same time. Same time. That'd be cute. He said, I wouldn't mind you to peg me. And I said, oh. Allie, do you want to borrow my strap on? No, I can't. I can't peg him. We're too close. Yeah, I don't think you should. You could do it. You could do it. I don't want to do it. Okay, so we're talking about just like the ease for this, like... Dick is available. It's available. They're just always available. They're giving. They're so generous. They're so generous. Except for Cowboy. Cowboy Gay, our friend, is a little selfish. The gay cowboy is not a generous lover, just like me. That's why we love each other. I've never met the gay cowboy. I don't think he'd like me, though. You know, he might not. He's more of a Tara Gay. You're a fruit fly, and I'm... We need a name for, like, yes, Fruit Fly versus whatever Tara is. Grunge Gay. Grunge Gay.

UNKNOWN: 15:30

Grunge Gay. What?

SPEAKER_00: 15:31

Okay, so I asked him. We were talking about all of his great sex that he gets to have all the time, anonymous sex. And I was like, well, tell me, has there ever been a moment where you've gotten into a dangerous situation? I need to know. Like, surely. Yeah. You're going in no name. Some people just leave their door unlocked and sit with their ass up in the air. And a man just walks in the room, fucks him, and leaves. That's incredible. It's incredible. To be fair, we've all had our fair share of showing up in an apartment and a naked person is waiting for us. So he was like, oh, yeah, something really bad happened to me one time. And I was like, oh, my God, are you okay, gay cowboy? And he's like, yeah. I got catfished so hard and I was like, okay and he goes the guy was fucking fat oh my god and I was like okay yes that's catfishing but like where's the danger that's not danger okay I did ask how much fatter so I'm glad we're on the same wavelength he said no I get it and I quote because I didn't say this listener he had to pull up his stomach to see his dick oh no and he goes I didn't know what to do I didn't want to sleep with him he catfished me and I'm like where's the danger in the story and he was like We ended up completely naked. I'm like, how? How do you end up completely naked? Just leave. And Gay Cowboy's hot. No, Gay Cowboy's hot. He keeps trying to go down on me because I don't believe he's good at licking pussy. We need that for the pod. Why are you saying no? Listen, it's... going to happen at some point it's inevitable we need to know absolutely inevitable oh man his boyfriend's hot too if someone's gonna do it I'd like to one of you get the boyfriend one of you get the cowboy you know they would be down to have sex with you I bet I think I'd be down yeah they're really handsome they're both really hot yeah you gotta get on prep so anyways I'm like waiting for this story and he's like yeah so we the situation goes we both end up naked and he really So I'm like, I don't want to fuck him. And so I just start jerking myself off and I made myself come. That's crazy. So I could leave. That is crazy. First of all, why not just put your pants on and walk out? First of all, why even get undressed? I need the gay cowboy to know that this is not a dangerous situation. How dare you describe this as one. But two, some fat guy really put me in on any of these. This fat guy made me jerk off. Made me jerk off. So I wouldn't have to penetrate him. I'm curious where he came from. He was like, lift that tummy up. But yeah, he basically is I just was like, oops, sorry, I came too early. Gotta go and left. Do you know what's funny? I'm mind blown. I'm speechless. Can you imagine if a woman could only come once and then they're like, gotta go. Oopsie. To the least sexy situation possible. That's crazy. How did he get it done? The gay cowboy is a magical creature. He's a man. He really is a magical creature. This reminds me of my gay friend. You have a gay friend? Yeah, Nora has one that she doesn't keep in touch with. Oh, I remember him. We kind of lost touch. No, no, no bad blood. We just sort of lost touch over the years. We went to his birthday party in Brooklyn like seven years ago and never saw him again. Didn't you make out with him? Yeah, once. Yeah. We made out. I think he fingered me. Anyway. And he was like, I'm gay. Unrelated. He's inside of Nora. I ain't got to tell you. I knew he was gay before that. Anyway, but it's funny because I knew him for years and he wasn't out and he didn't tell me he was gay. And in fact, he seemed very straight. He was straight passing. He would consistently, we would always go out. He would talk to me about his dates with me. presumably women, and he would give me all the deets and like, we just love talking dating. Maybe that should have been a sign. But it was always about women. But I always noticed he had an unusual amount of stories about anal. Describe unusual amount. Like every time. Like every time we would talk sex, he was like, well, you know, during anal. And I'd be like, huh, he does a lot of anal. Is he saying she, her pronouns? Yes. Wow. He was closeted. Well, yeah, I have something to say after this. He should have just switched to the vagina. But anyway- Couldn't. Too gay. Your gay cowboy story reminds me because one time he was telling me a story about how he got catfished. Very similar. He just showed up to someone's house and I was like, wow, that's crazy that a woman let you do that. And then he was like, yeah, she didn't really look like how I thought she would. And I was like, oh, what was wrong? And he goes, she had like a really large gut. And I was like, what? Like, women don't. You wouldn't describe a woman as having a huge gut. We don't carry the weight there. How hard was it to have created 8,000 dating stories about men by calling them women. He's confused. He's now confused. He's now bisexual. I don't know how he did it, but yeah, he eventually came out as gay, and I was like, oh. You were like, that girl with that gut. I was like, that gut makes more sense. That gut makes more sense. That beer belly. I don't think I would have put two and two together, though, Nora. I think I would have been like, wow, you really ran through some chicks to figure this out. If this is my homophobe coming through, I would have been like, A lot of ass play. It's a little gay. A little gay. A little gay. Like, when people are like, I want you to rim me, I'm like, I think you might also like men. Straight guys love getting rimmed nowadays, though. I don't know. It's the new thing. It's the fucking Gen Z. Gen Z, they love it. Gen Z loves ass play. We threw out a lot of the toxic, you know, gender roles, and now they want ass shit. And now they're gay. They're fluid. Gen Z is all very fluid. This is actually reminding me of one other... incident and it's kind of like on the sense of maybe turning straight guys gay a little bit but this guy's already straight like he hasn't come out as gay so Tara and I one time and I don't know what we should call him we'll call him pretty boy he says he's a pretty boy objectively he's a pretty boy once you get to know his personality he's less pretty was Nora with us? no she was parked in the boat no she was peeing in the grass I was peeing in the grass Just visualize that, listener. Visual. Nora is maybe 150 feet away peeing on a hill in grass, and Tara and I are left on the dock with Pretty Boy. And this was our first time having ever met Pretty Boy. First encounter. First, yeah. First encounter. We had maybe spent maybe already two hours with this person, and we didn't really learn much, except that this guy was a real jerk. He wasn't very nice. And he's straight. He's He's a one-upper. He thinks that he knows everything. And that's not really the kind of people that we like to hang out with. And Tara and I are on this dock waiting for our friends to park the boat and for Nora to stop pissing before we can leave. This is getting really specific and identifiable. But okay. And... I forget totally what happened, but you were talking to him, Tara. He was being really sexual, and I just don't like it when men are trying to be sexual, especially in a first encounter. Straight men. Straight men being sexual. It feels a little aggressive. So Tara starts baiting him. So I bait him. So I'm like, yeah, well, if you want to bend over, I will peg you. And he was like, oh, yeah, I get my dick sucked by my barber all the time. And we were like... Really? And he's like, well, only when we're drunk and only when I see my barber. He's like, but it's not gay, though. Well, it's a little gay. He goes... Well, he's sucking my dick, so there's nothing gay about it. There's nothing gay about getting your dick sucked. That's our favorite line. And we're like, it's a little gay. It's a little gay. So I was like, well, how often are you drinking with your barber? And he's like, every time I see him. By the way, men get their hair cut like every six weeks. This friend has now recently become engaged. And I would say we're not really closely like that friends with him. But when I found out the news that this was going to happen, because I heard it like through the rumor mill. The engagement. And I just go, oh, it's poor barber. Like, what's he going to do? Is he going to be at the wedding? For clarification, he got engaged to a woman. Yeah. So here's the thing. He's still going to be seeing the barber. The barber is still doing his job. Still getting that tip. I don't know if he tips him. That's fucked. No, he tips him. If you know what I mean. Slides that tip right in. She winked at me, y'all. Slides that tip right into his mouth. This is my last and absolute favorite story about the gay cowboy. And again, I just envy him and his lifestyle. I want like a shirt with like a stencil of a gay cowboy. Dude, I think that could be part of our merch. I think he could have such a brand. He has a brand. He's so handsome. He's such an icon. So anyways, this is my favorite story. To date, I'm sure there will be many, many more. But he goes on an annual ski trip with all his street friends. Skis? He skis. Oh, yeah. He's the dream. He is my husband. So he skis. He's the full package. But he goes with all of his street friends, and they're like boyfriends and husbands, and they always do an annual ski trip, right? So one year, they're on the mountain, and the gay cowboy catches the eye of a cute boy, and they chat a little bit on the slopes, whatever. On the slopes? They confuse me with a little boy. No, you never get hit on on the slopes. You look like a pile of trash. No, I look like a fat potato. Yeah, everyone looks 50 pounds heavier. Yeah, it's very confusing how gay men can just pull motherfuckers. So they see each other the next day while they're getting on the gondola. And it's a big enough gondola for, like, his whole friend group to get on. It's fake. I mean, to recognize somebody once, let alone twice, two different days. You tell me, yo. Did he suck his dick on the gondola? Well, the gay cowboy definitely didn't suck his dick. He's not a giver like that. He's a selfish lover just like me. So he tells his friends, hey, you get on this gondola. Go ahead. He waits, gets on the next gondola. Make sure it's just him and the guy. The guy sucks him off to completion. To just completion. On the gondola? On the gondola. Two minute or less ride. Two minute or less ride. Holy shit. And sucks him off. gets off the gondola, meets up with his friends, and his friends are like, what happened? And the gay cowboy is like, oh, he just sucked me off real quick before this ride. Let's go. To completion. All of the boyfriends and husbands. were so impressed the whole trip. They were like, can you do it again? They wanted him. They were like, what about that guy? They were wingmanning so hard after that because they're so jealous. They're so jealous that this is an option for gay men. Straight men. Hey, straight men, it's an option for you if you stop killing and raping women. Yeah, I would suck a guy off to completion. I thought you were going to say if you just let a gay man suck your dick, but that too. That too. Both of those. Those are you. Those are your options. Those are your options. My biggest takeaway is that the gay cowboy can come on demand. Like, that is what I need. Two instances now. That's true. He knows how to just plea. That's super important. He knows how to just plea. Second of all, is his dick not cold? Like, you're getting wet in air. Ooh, on the mountain. And then you've got to put it back inside the snowsuit. And then ski. I know we, our last episode, we talked. Standing up in snow boots. This story is crazy. Oh, I know. I know. So, here's the thing. We talked last week. episode about how great we are at giving hummers. I wouldn't say I'm that great, but... The gays know what they're fucking doing. No, I bet. And they have stronger mouths than us. They're stronger because they're men. Is that testosterone? I'm just saying, they must be a lot better. I just, I loved the straight man in the story. They're all just like, please do it again. Do it again. Because they're so jealous that they can't do that. But you can. There is a sub-tribe of the gay community where they love love fucking straight men and not to put the gay cowboy on the spot but that's one of his specialties is turning a straight man he loves a turn turning a man he loves a turn gay which I get I get that I get that fantasy it's a good fantasy like you want to turn a gay guy straight yeah oh yeah that would be awesome they would never I know I feel like I obviously can't it would be insulting like it would be like a hate crime but like I understand why that's like attractive like you're just so good and hot you're so They've changed their mind. No, it would be a hate crime. It's like, you know how there's like a small percentage of Jews left in the world? There's a small percentage of gays. You can't make them straight. Right. Fair. Save the gays. We should only be adding to the community, not subtracting. I hear you. All right, listener. To be clear, I can't turn a gay man. Nor could I. There's nothing magical about my mouth or puss to do such a thing. Not when they have men. Like, we're screwed. Not when they have men. This is the one time men trump women, I think. Wow. All right, listener. Write in. I want to know Let us know if you straighties have ever dabbled with a suck in the D. And would you rather have your dick sucked or would you rather suck dick? And if you want to feel the wrath of the gay cowboy, mayhaps write us in and let us know if you'd like to get your dick sucked by him as well. Again, he will not suck dick, but he will gladly let you suck his dick. Yee-haw. Yee-haw. That's all we have, rats. Yee-motherfucking-haw. Happy pride, rats. Happy pride. As always, thanks for listening. If you're interested in even more bad advice, scurry on over to Instagram and TikTok at BadAdviceOnlyNYC. We're begging you, download and rate the show and leave us a review. Talk to you next Monday. Stay tuned, rats.